God saaaaaave our graaaaacious Queeeeeen, looooong liiiiivvvve ouuuuur Noooooble Queeeeen…maybe I should learn the rest if I’m going to marry Harry. Hey, I’ve already lost out on Wills. And lets face it, with the wedding of the Millennium last year and the Jubilee next month, how will her Majesty’s loyal subjects survive without another 4 day bender in 2013? We are getting accustomed to it your Highness. Therefore, if Harry and I were to set the date, this could save the nation’s drinking deliberations for another glorious year.
My fantastic and selfless idea of a partnership with the third in line to the throne came when Katie and I were invited to the QVC AW12-13 press day. QVC have hosted some of our favorite events and naturally, there was a whole host of Diamond Jubilee and royalty-inspired products on show. And whether you are in full Jubilee celebration mode, or like Katie, getting sick of the red, blue and white coloured affair already, I set about relishing in all things regal e.g. testing out the immense amount of hot rocks and jewellery on offer.
After being papped in a replica of my future head-gear, which you can actually buy for approx. £10K, it was time to move on and pick out my future wedding ring. And yes, that hat is so heavy I was terrified to let go. Add a couple of free glasses of bubbly to the mix and you can imagine how much my heart was racing.
And so we come to the rings. Oh the rings! Whilst I shoved as many ‘diamonds’ on to my fingers as humanly possible, Katie likened my erratic behavior to Phoebe Bouffay. You know, that episode of Friends where she goes jewellery mental whilst helping Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica…oh the shame!
But you know, I did have to settle for one. And naturally I chose a suitable crown shaped ring (or to use its official title, the Epiphany Platinum Clad Diamonique 1.4ct tw 60 Facet Jubilee Crown Ring!). Well, there’s no need to beat around the bush now is there! And once Harry finally gets over his commitment issues, I am sure I would make the perfect Duchess of Essex.