Fashion Mistakes I Hate
There are certain things that irk me more than they should. I have to bite my lip when hearing the word ‘literally’ used in the wrong context, amongst other irrational irritants. Similarly, there are fashion faux pas which, like my quirky pet-hates, are not immediately obvious to most people but seem to disproportionately bother me.
Is it just me…?
Platform stripper shoes – I know, high-heels make us feel good and give a little swagger, but when did Minnie Mouse/lap-dancing platform shoes become chic? The chunkiness plays havoc with outfit proportions and can resemble over-sized novelty slippers making your legs look spindly. To me, a hefty platform ruins a form-fitting dress or hourglass gown (yes VB I am envisaging you tottering through the airport, half luxury brand-ambassador, half lads-mag fodder).
Novelty/Fashion Socks – say the same about you as would a novelty tie or earrings. In fact, all socks should be kept to an absolute minimum (nestled under a long boot or worn with trainers on a run are acceptable exceptions). I find them adorable on under-fives but cute, quirky or colourful socks will sabotage any respectable outfit. Even if mostly hidden from view, you’ll know you’re wearing them.
Translucent leggings – it’s like that nightmare where you leave your house without putting a skirt on and everyone sees your pants. There seems to be such frequent sightings, the nightmare has turned real. It’s difficult to know where to look when behind such legging-wearers on an escalator. If in doubt get a friend to check (in harsh daylight) fabric transparency levels, the VPL situation and overall appropriateness prior to leaving the house.
Too-small sandals – the over-grip of toes poking out of a sandal makes metatarsals look squished and even more unappealing than normal. It looks like the shoe is being held on by the first three toes alone and any pedicure consideration has been money down the spa bath. Give. Them. Away. Immediately.
Mobile phone accessories – anything that clips, grips or adheres to a phone is superfluous and is more inappropriate if you are over GCSE age. I don’t care if it’s easier to answer attached to your hip or around your neck, I’d prefer you missed 1 out of every three calls than wear a lanyard or Gareth Keenan style holster. Similarly, ‘fun’ stickers or diamante décor is tantamount to filling your car’s dashboard or parcel shelf with cuddly toys.
Brilliant. To combine the language and the fashion thing, I have some fashion writing phrases that really get to me: ‘pop’, so, for example, ‘add a pop of colour to your outfit’. Pop is a verb, when did it suddenly become the fashion world’s favourite noun? And ‘ombre’… this is a big one on Pinterest. ‘Ombre nails, ombre wedding cake, ombre hair…’
Similarly when American sites write ‘shop the collection’ or ‘shop this look’ it annoys me, it sounds so wrong. I really like ‘degrade’ though, a good replacement for ombre. I say if Tim Blanks uses it it’s OK by me!
Totally agree, if I see or hear the phrase ‘passion for fashion’ once more…!
‘Passion for fashion’ instantly makes me think of those ugly Bratz dolls.
Great post, by the way. I have never found those huge platform shoes especially elegant and no one can ever walk in them anyway.
In defense of clompy heels, anyone with an hourglass figure or big hips will know that daintier shoes just make your lower half look like a unflattering V. My favourite pair of heels are black suede have a 1in black platform with a chunky heel – better support for ankles than stiletto heels too. Otherwise you’re spot on though.
Also, I quite like the word sartorial but I hate seeing it three times in one article