White: Do you dare to wear?

When the sun’s out, we’re all naturally drawn to white, no? A staple of the summer wardrobe, white evokes images of sun-drenched Greek islands, blue skies and golden skin. This season, the fashion world has gone head over heels for this palest of trends, so why are we still so wary of white?

Just this week, I made my monthly trip to Zara, that delicious middle of the road brand via which we can all look like we’re dressed in Celine for a mere fraction of the price. I was there to buy white; presumably that flash of sun we had last week sent me into some kind of over-exposed frenzy. I selected these beauties for upcoming weddings/days I want to be Carrie Bradshaw – and I would have been satisfied had my accompanying friend not said:

‘It’s funny, how things that would’ve seemed horrible a few years ago are okay now. Like white shoes.’

I still bought the shoes. But the thought remained; is white always right?

Well, no, it isn’t. It’s a veritable minefield, but this is not news to anyone. So to assist us all in the hazardous embracing of white this season as the gods at Vogue and Elle decree, here are a few danger zones to beware.

1. Stain street. The first one is obvious. Christ, who hasn’t this happened to? Just one errant swirl from your pasta salad and that dress is a goner (this happened to me featuring a forkful of lasagne, a white trench coat and subsequently an embarrassing visit to a bemused Hermes store in Paris). A misjudged seat on a bus or garden chair and sniggers will ensue for the rest of the evening. Even the gentle tugging of your head through a white blouse and suddenly half your foundation is on the collar. White, you cruel mistress.

2. To tan or not to tan? Secondly, the irrational need for a tan that white seems to inspire. It may have escaped your notice, but we don’t get much in the way of sunshine here, so options are limited. Fake the sunkissed glow, and run the gauntlet of tan transfer – see above. Or, go natural and work the slight browning you’ve achieved thus far. I face this dichotomy in a few months’ time – I anticipate I’ll fake it, lest I resemble a haddock fillet in a shift dress.

3. The price is white. Lastly, is the fact that you’ll probably need to flash a bit of cash to pull off white, or else embrace visible underwear and cheap material forever. Depressingly, I can’t afford Christian Dior; Zara is pushing it, realistically. White on a budget is a risky affair – I have yet to succeed, although I’ve found H&M and Topshop to be regular safe havens.

So, if you’ve got especially delicate eating habits (or a stick of Vanish, just in case) go white. Hey, if it’s good enough for Anna Wintour…

Five Signs You’re Getting Too Old for Heels

1. You keep your Jimmy Choos/ Kurt Geigers in the box.
If all your purchases end up in a shoe shrine, never to see the light of day, you know you’re too old for heels. Any self-respecting teenager buying their first statement shoe would scuff those bad boys within hours of handing over the money.

2. You’d rather eat the latest issue of Vogue than trade shoe collections with Daphne Guinness
Heels can turn you into a power woman but flats are the best way to play it cool – dress down trend-heavy outfits with flats and you’ll feel a lot less self-conscious making your big entrance.

And you get to tsk tsk at Daphne Guinness for clinging to banisters as she teeters around in ever more ridiculous shoes. Just think what that poor woman’s feet must look like.

3. Your toes are a wreck from wearing “simple” black Havianas to parties when everyone else is in stilettos
Summer’s a great time to give up heels – or maybe just vow to stick to wedges wherever possible. I’m also a big fan of wearing black raffia sandals on nights out.

OK, they’re basically little better than flip flops but you can wear them with everything. Good for: the beach, the park and running across cobbles looking smug.

4. Those Sunday morning knee grazes are starting to annoy you
It used to be funny wobbling into gutters and twisting ankles on the stairs. But according to some (no doubt) pretty unscientific research quoted in Avril Mair’s latest Beauty Extremist in Elle magazine, 40% of women admit to having had accidents because of their heels.

What does the ordinary fashion ed do then? Simple, wear heels when you know you’re getting a cab to and from wherever you’re going and sit down a lot when you’re in them.

Blue brocade pool flats, Christopher Kane SS12

5. You like ‘haute casual’ footwear like these Christopher Kane abominations
If a talented British designer combines comfort with well, flowers it must be fashionable right? Wrong – but do use this kind of design to your advantage when you’re championing the merits of flats to the Amazon in the 5 inchers towering above you. Acceptably stylish flat shoes include ballet pumps, brogues, leather sandals and even plastic jelly shoes when combined with high fashion underwater-themed outfits. But not these.

Main image: Faraz Pourreza-Jorshari

Can Mary Portas be the Queen of Shoes too?

Versayce went along to the Clarks’ press day last week on behalf of S&TS to preview the autumn/winter collections. 

Given some of the excruciating situations and characters on TV show Mary Queen of Shops, anyone would think Mary Portas was addicted to pain. Her current level of ubiquity certainly suggests she has a schedule punishing enough for an incarcerated criminal.

Not so her capsule range for Clarks‘ autumn/winter 2012 collection, which despite featuring dangerously high heels, is constructed, we were told, using comfort technologies allowing for striking looks without so much as a squished little toe. This continues Mary’s relentless quest to make businesses better understand and provide for their customers. Her line is squarely aimed to meet the demands of women whose lives are chock full of kids and work, and who insist they’ll look stunning while keeping the entire dinner service spinning. Running around maybe more conducive to trainers and flats, but where’s the fun in that?

Clarks unquenchable thirst for collaboration continues in their main and Originals collections. Harris Tweed and Jaguar Shoes Collective are recruited from the UK, while Velour (from Sweden) and Rocky Mountain Featherbed (US) bring accents from further afield. While the shape of the shoes are on the whole conservative and comfortable, you can’t fault Clarks for their determination to balance these core values with relevance to today’s trend-led shoe buyers. Where they succeed is with those designs which eschew the clunky and deliver on sharp lines, or where the choice of material really hollers quality and charm. Here are our pick of the pairs…