Sometimes I pity the richest people on the planet. I mean, when it comes to birthdays and festive times, special occasions and wedding anniversaries, it must be damn hard choosing your nearest and dearest presents they could otherwise just pick up for themselves on a casual Tuesday afternoon spree in Harrods. I like to amuse myself that this must have been a constant irritation to the Royal family, and this is why they subsequently introduced the ‘novelty gifts’ idea for Christmas present buying. I’m sure Prince Charles must have a dozen Burger king crowns by now. Therefore, I thought it might be a tradition the Royals might extend to the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee this year, because lets face it, the woman owns most of the diamonds in the country anyway, she aint going to want no more. Therefore I have scoured the internet and great British High Street to bring Charles, Philip, William and co (and obviously any one else who wants in on the action) a definitive list of th kitsch and the Cray, to amuse one’s humble Queen on her Jubilee.
1. The Royal Oysters – Limited Edition Oyster Card:
In times of austerity, one might have to start hop-footing it on the jubilee line (geddit?!) and can thus can now do it in limited edition style. Will also double up as a handy I.D down at the local Wetherspoons.
2. Face Off – Lydia Leith Diamond Jubilee Jelly Mould:
Nothing is more British that a good old tea party, and no doubt her Majesty will be happy to wibble wobble up to get a bowl full of jelly in the shape of her own head, despite it looking like she’s had the chop.
3. A very Vogue idea – Our stylish Queen:
There is no denying Elizabeth II style credentials. With the likes of Bruce Oldfield et al on speed dial, Vogue’s novel idea of charting our Monarch’s wardrobe for 1 year to discover her favourite hues paints a rather pretty picture. And every woman, Queen of the Commonwealth or not, loves to know she is en Vogue, darling.
4. The very funny, very unofficial diary of the Queen:
We all know the numerous celebrity parody accounts on twitter, and one of mine and Katie’s favourites is @Queen_UK a.k.a The Queen Of Twitter. having been lucky enough to actually meet her Royal Highness (ish) at her book launch last year, it would paint an amazing picture seeing the true queen reading her fictional counterpart’s work.
5. A right Royal Cuppa:
As we all know, the Queen is a very busy lady, and like the majority of her loyal subjects, can’t function in the morning before her cup of tea. Therefore, as her schedule hots up around the Jubilee, it makes sense her face should be plastered all over these awesome travel friendly cups! And Philip would never mistake it for his own…
7. Environmentally sound:
And last but not least, can’t you just imagine these on the Queen’s window sill?! Actual solar-powered waving Queens! Available from Amazon, I have a feeling Carole Middleton might already be dishing these out with her Jubilee bunting.