I’ve never been a massive Madonna fan. And that’s mainly due to being born at the tail end of the 80’s and missing out on my teenage years singing in to a hair brush all Material Girlie (I still did that, it was just Britney instead of Madge I was taping off the Top 40). In fact, my earliest memory of being introduced to the so-called Queen of Pop was when my Dad bought the Evita soundtrack and played it until my youthful ears bled. Not an exemplary first impression I think you will agree.
That’s not to say I didn’t dip in and out of Madonna’s back catalogue throughout my youth. Hell, the woman’s career has spanned like thirty years or something. You couldn’t get away if you tried. I still to this day regard Frozen as one of my favorite shit songs of all time (it’s up there with All Saints Never Ever and N Sync’s Bye Bye Bye). I also wound up buying that ridiculous Cowboy styled album she did with Ali G or something. But that, if you ask me, is the direct fault of MTV’s universal influence on the impressionable who don’t know any better. You know, the people without older siblings. Damn it.
But despite never being a ‘True Blue’, I have always admired Madonna from afar. Popular culture, it seems, demands our appreciation for Madge and her sexy 80’s women’s liberating, on-stage masturbating, cone-bra wearing legacy. And that’s all well and good. But something is telling me, and others it seems, that the Queen of Reinvention has now gone one-step too far.
Everything from the title of Madonna’s latest album, to that hilariously staged Superbowl ‘I’m a MASSIVE PR stunt and you’ll never prove it’ debacle with M.I.A, to EVERYTHING to do with her world tour happening right now, screams of hypocrisy, and she needs to stop, before she does some irreversible damage.
Here is my blow-by-blow list of bug bears with Madonna circa 2012:
We are all aware you are the original ‘shocker’, Madonna, and that you are probably running out of fresh ideas, but that’s no excuse to have some bingy, mid-life crisis revolt and start acting like THAT mum who tries to crash parties with her teenage daughter.