After so many seasons at London Fashion Week, you start to become pretty desensitized to it all. All the stylists laden with equal quantities of PR contacts and Mawi jewellery begin to blur together, and outfits usually only seen in children’s nightmares become the norm. Personally, I stopped trying this season. I ditched my 6-inch wedges and pleather skinnies in favour of flats – and not falling flat on my face on the cobbles of Somerset House. I also made sure I had pockets galore to stash emergency pens, tickets, passes, camera lenses and painkillers. I am actually considering a utility belt next season, in a completely un-ironic and totally practical way. I’m just scared I’ll kick off some new ridiculous Bob The Builder trend and get trolled by the trade unions. Someone even complimented me this week on the fact I hadn’t ‘dressed up’ and how it was totally ‘refreshing to see’. I am 98% positive this was said in an ironic way, but I’m still cashing in that compliment, you hear.
After trawling through about a zillion of our photographs from London Fashion Week, we decided to put a top ten rundown together highlighting the – shock horror – FUN we had and hilarious sights we saw, amidst all the seriousness and ridiculousness. So here it is, our attempt at injecting a little humour back into LFW. God knows it needs it.
1. We think we found our Prince
We couldn’t tell if this joker was an actual member of the royal family or had just popped to Burger King. We know K-Middy and co are usually Frow at Issa, but maybe he was just lost looking for Raffles? Either way, he definitely needed to get some air into his crown quick-smart. I think the only other guy spotted who topped our Prince Charming was the idiot in the ‘Free Shags’ t-shirt walking around Somerset House hand in hand with his GIRLFRIEND.
2. We found out why Burberry don’t just let anyone in
Major tip: if all you desires is to get papped by a street style photographer, one sure-fire way to succeed is to basically wear everything you own (but, in the words of Joey Tribbiani, you ‘better not do any lunges’). Wearing a dress with actual teddy bears as shoulder pads does not make you the height of fashion, it makes you look like you got lost on the way to your audition for Nightmare on Sesame Street. As the greats do say, there is a fine line between style and
3. We found an actual triple threat
In the immortal words of Andrew Stone, of Pineapple Dance Studios fame, these guys are a true triple threat. They WILL threaten you if you dare to question their choice in man-clutches. Oh, and they have also perfected the art of synchronized walking. Bravo, my friends, bravo.
4. We found the happiest man alive at Fashion Week
Contrary to popular belief, you are allowed to smile at fashion week, as proved by this cheeky chappy. I’m not even 100% convinced he was working, as I saw him grab his coat and dash out of Somerset house about 5 minutes after I took this photo. Maybe he had Bob Geldofesque tendencies and was attempting to feed the models. Or just really friggin’ loves his popcorn. Either way, he was the happiest guy we saw all weekend.
5. We found out we are potentially the only two people eating at Fashion Week
After we accosted said happiest man alive for his ‘corn, it appeared we were the only people who dared eat in public within a two mile radius. We know this is usually a maaaaajar faux pas, but after 10 hours on your feet the sight of a free bag of sweet and salty is enough to make anyone drool.
6. We found that Gangnam style
Watch out London, the phenomenon that is Gangnam Style has already infiltrated the walls of Somerset House and your wardrobe is next. Hell, we’re seriously considering a trip to Korean Fashion Week just to see if the models Gangnam all the way down the catwalks.
7. …and that Katie is a pro
Having already perfected the art of Gangnam, Katie gave us a lesson in riding the invisible horse in between shows. Perhaps we should have crashed a few shows and made our own Gangnam parody – but I’m pretty certain Henry Holland would have had us blacklisted for life if we’d dared.
8. We found the worst PR team ever
When you’re sitting in a meeting room, planning the publicity for your fashion show, and someone suggests you could cut a few corners and just chalk out directions on the pavement, you need to FIRE THEM. Honestly, what if it had rained?!
9. We found out a lot about the Freemasons
Whilst we were camped out at Freemasons Hall for all the Vauxhall Fashion Scout shows, our Katie got talking to a real life Freemason, and by all accounts got a 20 minute history lesson too. It turns out that Freemasons Hall is still the Global headquarters for all the Freemasons and not just a fashion show location twice a year. Go figure.
10. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave!
Oh Fashion Week. We’ve had our highs and we’ve had our lows. It makes sense we only see each other every six months my darling, but can we still be frenemies? Until next time, air kisses sweetie! Now can someone direct me back to the real world please?