Style & Then Some

Victoria’s Not so Secret Secrets…

Don’t panic, this wont be (much) of a feminist rant regarding the infamous Victoria’s Secret show.  I am actually a fan of the brand, and an avid ‘avoider’ of the new Bond Street store (check out our Jo’s review of it here) lest I spend my last pennies on pants instead of bus fare.  However, I do have a few bejeweled bones to pick with the annual pre-holiday extravaganza.  I am wholly aware it is all supposed to be seen as ‘good old fun’, but seriously, it must take a strong woman to watch that show and not feel completely awful about herself for about 5 minutes afterwards.  Perhaps I am alone here, but being stupidly impressionable until my early twenties, watching YouTube videos of the Angels strutting their underwired goodies down the catwalk didn’t do much for my self-esteem.  Now, I frankly don’t give one as I have understood I am not blessed, and never will be, with Alessandra Ambrosio’s legs and neither are a lot of other people.  So I thought I would list a few issues with the show to make any other impressionos think twice:

Victoria's Secret show 2012

  1. The Diet:

It is nothing short of horrific.  The models, this year including the likes of Cara Delevingne, Jourdan Dunn, Karlie Kloss and Miranda Kerr among other names I won’t ever remember, are put through a ‘pre-season’ diet regime where drinking a gallon of water is the norm, exercising twice a day for roughly 3 months is key, and waving ‘bye-bye’ to solids (mmmmm them protein shakes are mighty tasty!) for nine days before hand.  I think I’ll stick to my crumpets for breakfast instead of this:

Victoria's Secret diet pre show 2012

  1. The grooming:

We all love getting our hair, nails and make up done by a professional, but come on, there wasn’t a pube in sight.  Being waxed to within an inch of your life must have caused some angel tears pre-show.  I’m sure Adriana Lima, an OAP of the show at 30 years of age, would have been dishing out the E45 cream to the first timers…

  1. The Women:

I do hold the belief these women are actually just freaks of nature.  Who has a baby and looks like Miranda Kerr?  No matter how many crunches you do, most of our stomachs wont resemble Candice Swanepoel’s concave abs.   And maybe that’s a good thing after the immense press backlash she is currently receiving for supposedly taking the VS diet (if possible) that one step too far…

Candice Swanepoel stomach

 So I am still out on a limb.  While I enjoy a good browse in store, and find Victoria’s Secrets do some of the most comfortable knickers you can buy, the show itself should be seen as an outdated concept, up there with Miss World.  Instead, it is regarded as one of the most anticipated ( I wont go in to the obvious ‘whys’ here) shows in the fashion calendar, despite the models barely being able to walk properly under the weight of those ridiculous wings.  So tell me, do you agree with the show or have any objections to it? It would be good to get some opinions… 

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About Helen Coakley

One comment on “Victoria’s Not so Secret Secrets…

  1. blondekatie
    November 14, 2012

    The VS show is ridiculous in every way. I think because it’s seen as high end and is endorsed by all those supermodels and music stars it’s somehow deemed more acceptable than your average issue of Nuts, but it’s just as bad – totally outdated, and presenting a hideously unrealistic image of womankind.

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